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It’s ok to doubt

As we face another week in the strange reality of a completely changed world due to a virus, it would be tempting to simply distract ourselves. Or if we’re fortunate to be relatively untouched personally, ignore it. Or if we’re deeply impacted by it medically or economically, to despair.

Interestingly, each of these would, in its own way, deny God. Perhaps not entirely throw out God’s existence, but certainly not affirm the idea of a loving God. Or one who is in control and working everything for our good. I understand these responses. They are natural. I’ve been here and much deeper – struggling with the mystery of God.

But distracting, ignoring and despairing are different than doubting. The former avoid – the latter leans in. And I’ve found that even when I can only voice a doubting, but hungry prayer, God meets me in amazing ways.

So this week, if you’ve ever had doubts, or are feeling like you might kick off the week with a heart full of avoidance – join me in this prayer and let’s see what God does.

Today we ask you, mysterious God out there somewhere, to hear and receive our doubts. We want to give you a shot. We want to believe and experience a depth and joy of living that is fueled by something beyond us. Someone beyond us. We admit we have doubts and days of wondering if you’re real. We believe that if you are, you can certainly handle our doubts. Who would want to pray to and serve a God who can’t? Not us.

We admit our hearts can feel cold and distant sometimes. We know that doesn’t feel right. We know – somehow mysteriously – but as truly as we are breathing – that we are intended to live fully. We know that there’s a life that is truly life and it’s available to us somehow in you. 

And so we ask, God of the universe: break into our reality with the warmth of your presence and love. Soften our hearts to the possibility of you. We open ourselves to that possibility and invite you to speak and move and do miraculous things. Show us what is true and real. Lead us to love.


Grace and Peace,

Pastor Joel

Joel Searby

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